Concern Turned to Joy

As if there wasn't enough concern about this pregnancy (for me anyway) from the beginning...we were informed after our 20 week ultrasound that the radiologist found some calcium buildup in Junebug's bowels. Now, that shouldn't really cause too much concern...but as a mother who's already lost a baby, I didn't want to hear ANY news other than good news after the ultrasound! Talking about the potential health issues with our doc, she told us that echogenic foci of the bowel is a soft marker for cystic fibrosis. Given that our OB absolutely ROCKS, she was able to reassure us during the discussion (even with as little information as she had) and when she told us that she wanted to send us to Calgary...well, I pretty much took it in stride. I was really unconcerned going in, but still praying for good results.
Doing research after that first appointment, I learned that CF is genetic and given that neither of us has any history, I was reminded that everything was likely just fine.


Given the title of this post...

After being on the ultrasound bed/table for over an hour, getting this special opportunity to watch our little Junebug again (the kid was honestly folded in half for most of the time!), we were finally free to leave the darkened, warm, sleep-inducing room :) I guess that was more in Duane's radar than mine...I was really quite uncomfortable; those tables are hard!
From there, we were led to the specialist's office where we'd have our chat with him to determine if there was more that we needed to pursue. He popped right in and, from the get-go, was very positive. It turns out what he saw was hardly detectable and that there is NO cause for concern or any follow-up appointments! YAY! I guess there still is something of buildup or something there...but for there to be any concern, it needed to be as bright as bone or brighter...which it definitely was not!
Also, the specialist told us that if there's no family history, we could potentially be carriers...though for the baby to HAVE cystic fibrosis, BOTH Duane and I would have to be carriers. The chances of even one of us carrying the gene is 1 in 5...so for both of us to be "that one" in the family is VERY slim. We will not have any more testing (it wasn't even suggested as an option) which is very indicative that the doctor believes things are all good. He told us/me to keep doing what I'm doing, and we should be able to have a full term, healthy Junebug!
WOOT!
For those of you who prayed your little hearts out or thought happy thoughts...thank you!

~K~

Thinking Of You

Have been doing lots of thinking about our first peanut lately, and came across this poem this week.
Hope it speaks to someone else too.

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
~Author Unknown

~K~

Introducing Junebug! And a few other tidbits...

Well readers, we have finally made it to "that time in our lives"...this meaning that we have jumped on the baby bandwagon!! I am ridiculously excited, and while I don't think Duane would say it with as much exuberance, I'm pretty certain he's excited too...just not as outwardly as me :) You know guys...

And speaking of outwardly...that is the direction my belly has been heading in these last 19 weeks! I feel like I've been showing for a number of weeks now (at least a month), when in reality I've likely only recently "popped". I know there's much more "popping" to be done, especially since both Sherri and Jody had an obvious change between 20 and 25 weeks. Since I'm the last of the sisters to be pregnant, I can now keep track of my growth by checking their photos from the same week period. I think I won for size at 18 weeks, but I really hope it doesn't become a trend! I DO NOT want to get as big as Jody did with Gavin! Ouch.
Both sisters did photos (I took Jody's) in 4 week increments, and strangely enough I haven't bothered...really...and I LOVE belly photos! I've taken torso shots every couple weeks here and there with my phone's camera, just to keep a watch on the growth...but nothing really special. I've asked Duane to take some next week when we head into Cranbrook for our 20 week ultrasound though! I think he's agreed...

Speaking of ultrasounds...
As only a few of you may know, we have experienced an u/s once before this pregnancy...and fairly recently, too. I am not going to lie: I am somewhat nervous for next week.
Junebug will be our second pregnancy, and already has a big sister up in Heaven.
Duane and I were blessed to get pregnant about 11 months ago with a little girl who was not meant to be with us. I was ecstatic about that pregnancy and wrote her little notes throughout the 15 weeks she was with us, laid a hand on my belly to await movement, and said a prayer for her every night. Devastating doesn't even describe the day I laid on the ultrasound table at the Cranbrook hospital, only to find out that our baby had no heartbeat and was only measuring 10 and a half weeks. I was surprised, sad, mad, heartbroken, and any other imaginable negative emotion that you could imagine. And they all came in one massive wave...and then I just couldn't stop crying.
I am VERY thankful for friends and adopted family in Fernie. Without them, I don't know that I could have gotten through that weekend just me and Duane. We were both stunned. I think going out to a planned birthday celebration that night, despite our tragic news, was the best thing we could have done. Our friends were there and supported us with hugs and encouragement, and allowed me to cry on their shoulders. I really tried not to ruin the mood though!
I had a few moments over the next two days (Saturday and Sunday) where I was in total denial, and ended up going to the ER here in town to see if they could check for a heartbeat with the Doppler. The doc on call didn't bother...he just rang up Cranbrook and spoke to the radiologist who confirmed fetal demise. I went home with my head hanging. We were meant to announce our special news at church on Sunday, and after a frantic call to our pastor, that was halted. We stayed home from church that day, and I'm not sure I actually even got out of bed.
Our D&C surgery was booked for Monday, so back to Cranbrook we went. I felt at peace with our decision, as waiting for a natural miscarriage made no sense to me...we'd already apparently "waited" and nothing had happened from the time her heart stopped to the time we found out about it 4.5 weeks later. I wasn't convinced my body would do it on its own. So surgery it was. Our little girl was "born" on June 6, 2011. That date will always be on my heart. We chose not to name her, but she is our little angel baby. I had a ring made with the June birthstone Alexandrite, which is also called the Cat's Eye stone. When we received the results from pathology 12 weeks post-op, we were told our little girl had a chromosomal disorder in which she had an extra chromosome...now I can't remember all the details from that visit, but I do remember that the disorder is sometimes known as Cat Eye Syndrome. Coincidence? I think not. I keep trying to remember to double check the name of the actual disorder the doctor mentioned, but I couldn't ever remember at my appointments. Ah well.

Back to Junebug!

I have been feeling great overall, but very tired and rather sore at times. The only "sick" I experienced was during the entire two weeks we were away on holidays in Abbotsford and Hawaii. Go figure. Ugghh. Thank you hormones. And, honestly, the exhausted tired only lasted a few weeks. Now it's the tired-because-I-watch-4-kids kind of tired...and I can't really blame that on the pregnancy too much, I don't think.
Around 14.5/15 weeks I felt the first movements for 2 nights and then felt nothing for almost 2 weeks. I became quite paranoid and wanted to call the doc to check the heartbeat. Ask Duane! Because my previous appointment had only been one week prior, I still had another 3.5 to go before my next one. I held off and complained for those last few weeks and then a few days before 17 weeks I started feeling movement again! It reassured me,and while I still thought about calling the doctor early, I didn't. At 18 weeks I was able to hear that wonderful heartbeat again :) I have now heard it 3 times (once at each appointment so far...9.5 weeks, 13.5 weeks, and 18 weeks) and Duane has heard it once. What a blessed sound it is!

I'm feeling much more certain of this baby coming to join us as each week passes and my tummy grows and the kicking increases! :) We are pretty excited for baby's arrival come the end of June/beginning of July. Our official due date is June 24, but I'm not going to hold out for that, and I am officially expecting baby around July 5/6 :)

~K~

Hmmm...

Well I never did post about Arizona like I said I would...did I? Maybe I'll get around to it by next March? That task seems sort of daunting at the moment!

~K~

A Tidbit of Vegas

Neither Duane nor myself enjoyed Vegas at all. We really liked the Cirque show on our last night (Mystere), but other than that we couldn't wait to leave!

The first collage shows the things we saw shortly after we arrived on the strip on night one. I'll admit, I would have liked to see more of the Venetian than I did...but they sure had a nice washroom :) Treasure Island is where we saw Mystere on our last night. The first night we stayed at the Stratosphere Hotel, so we went up the tower to get a glimpse of the Vegas skyline/strip at night.

The second collage shows the views from our room at Hooters. Yes, we stayed at Hooters. Long story.

We also had our photo taken at the Vegas sign...gotta do the things tourists do! Notice, also, how Duane is so amazing that he has a sign coming out of his head!

This is all for the Vegas portion of our trip!

Stay tuned for Arizona!

~K~

PS If you want to see any of the photos bigger, just click on the collage.

Vacation Time!!

Hmm...4 months seems to be a new record! Yep, just not much to blog about b/c really all we do is snowshoe and ski in the winter! And work.
I've taken random pictures here and there of our snowshoe experiences, but I think it'd just get old...posting about the same thing each time. So I just haven't!
However, since my parental unit has been deprived of my life bits via photojournalism, I'll post a few photos of things that have gone on in the last few months.

Our trip to Rossland for a ski weekend:





Shoeshoeing excursions:
Fairy Creek

Checking the stability of the beaver dam...yes, we then walked across it.

Then we crossed the creek

Then we (unintentionally) walked through someone's backyard

Was super cold that afternoon...first time I had to wear something to keep my neck/face from freezing!

Silly husband...always finding things to jump from

Found our next creek crossing spot...we bumscooted across that log and then rock hopped and climbed the hill on the other side.

See?

My view

Family Day Outing with Steve & Karen Above Coal Creek


Duane on the way up the powerline

Just like Duane...Steve is always jumping off stuff

The guys running the hill

This is how we all got down...tobogganing down the powerline! SO fun!

Night time Snowshoe with Alisha

Golf course

I think I wore about two layers too many..maybe three.


Turns out we've got some time off at the same time for once!! We took this rare opportunity to book a little vacay down south. I'm not sure how many suggestions were made before we settled on an Arizona road trip (with a quick stop in Vegas on both ends). Thinking this might just be the last time the two of us get to go away on an extended vacation for a few years...so I'm hoping for a good time!

We leave tomorrow afternoon to drive down to Kalispell, Montana to catch our flight, and we return home again on Sunday next week.

I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about upon our return! Adios!

~K~

Newgate

BC's South Country is gorgeous! Sand dunes, beaches, water and lots of room to roam. I'm hoping next summer will provide a bit more time for me to explore down there.

After taking in the Remembrance Day ceremonies here in town, Duane and I headed south with Tyler and Alisha for an afternoon of exploring and skeet shooting! It was absolutely gorgeous out and we didn't want to waste our day off inside. It turned out to be a little chilly by the time we got to Newgate, but we were still excited to shoot. It's been awhile since I've picked up a gun, so my aim was pretty terrible. I do think I actually hit a couple clay pigeons though! Since I don't really want to take the blame for such terrible luck, however, I think I'll blame it on my eyes. My vision seems to be pretty wonky these days. Them's the breaks for getting old, I suppose. Or something.



~K~

Halloween Hiatus

Duane and I went out quadding with our friend Tyler this past weekend. I was like a kid in a candy store, I was so giddy! I think I probably grinned the ENTIRE time...even when then wind was whipping my bare face. I forgot my sunglasses, but I pretty much didn't care :) It was all good, and it was a GREAT way to avoid all the halloween hubbub in town.

Things got even better once we hit snow. I LOVED being up in the snow and the fact that my toes were frozen didn't matter much. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I actually feel sorta bad that Duane had to drive the whole time and I got to look around and take pictures. He didn't seem to mind too much, and he did a wonderful job driving! I can't wait for winter!

Here are a bunch of the pictures I took while we were out. If you want to see them bigger, just click on the picture!

~K~

Ok...this is getting annoying!

Can we just talk about how obnoxious this is??? I post a new post, and the thing cuts off my last picture!!

So here's the last one it cut off of me and Duane at the waterfall...

And, because I had to do another post anyway, here's a shot of our freezer starting to fill up with deer! We now also have elk on top of all this!

~K~

Fall Features

It seems Picasa now only lets me post 4 at a time, so I had to skip the collage of my freezer full of venison (and now elk!).

I thought I'd post a few pictures to show you how I've been spending my Fall days.

Walking to work on cold, fresh snow mornings!

Going for random backroads drives with the hubby.

Lots of walks with cute kidlets! Yes, she's wearing a toque and it was only mid-Sept!

Visiting local nature spots with the hubby. Ooohh preeetty!!!

~K~