Concern Turned to Joy

As if there wasn't enough concern about this pregnancy (for me anyway) from the beginning...we were informed after our 20 week ultrasound that the radiologist found some calcium buildup in Junebug's bowels. Now, that shouldn't really cause too much concern...but as a mother who's already lost a baby, I didn't want to hear ANY news other than good news after the ultrasound! Talking about the potential health issues with our doc, she told us that echogenic foci of the bowel is a soft marker for cystic fibrosis. Given that our OB absolutely ROCKS, she was able to reassure us during the discussion (even with as little information as she had) and when she told us that she wanted to send us to Calgary...well, I pretty much took it in stride. I was really unconcerned going in, but still praying for good results.
Doing research after that first appointment, I learned that CF is genetic and given that neither of us has any history, I was reminded that everything was likely just fine.


Given the title of this post...

After being on the ultrasound bed/table for over an hour, getting this special opportunity to watch our little Junebug again (the kid was honestly folded in half for most of the time!), we were finally free to leave the darkened, warm, sleep-inducing room :) I guess that was more in Duane's radar than mine...I was really quite uncomfortable; those tables are hard!
From there, we were led to the specialist's office where we'd have our chat with him to determine if there was more that we needed to pursue. He popped right in and, from the get-go, was very positive. It turns out what he saw was hardly detectable and that there is NO cause for concern or any follow-up appointments! YAY! I guess there still is something of buildup or something there...but for there to be any concern, it needed to be as bright as bone or brighter...which it definitely was not!
Also, the specialist told us that if there's no family history, we could potentially be carriers...though for the baby to HAVE cystic fibrosis, BOTH Duane and I would have to be carriers. The chances of even one of us carrying the gene is 1 in 5...so for both of us to be "that one" in the family is VERY slim. We will not have any more testing (it wasn't even suggested as an option) which is very indicative that the doctor believes things are all good. He told us/me to keep doing what I'm doing, and we should be able to have a full term, healthy Junebug!
WOOT!
For those of you who prayed your little hearts out or thought happy thoughts...thank you!

~K~

Thinking Of You

Have been doing lots of thinking about our first peanut lately, and came across this poem this week.
Hope it speaks to someone else too.

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
~Author Unknown

~K~